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(1 votes, average: 5 out of 5)
Loading ...From a passenger ship one can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting and desperately waving is hands.
“Who is it?” a passenger asks the captain.
“I’ve no dea. Every year when we pass, he goes mad.”
(3 votes, average: 2 out of 5) Loading ...Starting his new job at the zoo, the eager young
zoo keeper
asked the Head keeper what he should do for his first task.
“Go and
clean out the aquarium” he was told.
Arriving at the aquarium, he
discovered that all the fish were dead. He
rushed back to the head
keeper and asked what he should do. “Throw
them to the lions” said
the head keeper, “the lions will eat anything”.
So the young keeper
returned to the aquarium, picked up all the dead
fish and threw
them into the lion’s cage. That done, he returned and
asked what he
should do now.
He was instructed to go and clean out the ape house.
Off he went and
started cleaning. He was shocked to discover dead
chimpanzees in the
cage, and rushed back for instructions. “Dont
worry” said the head
keeper, “just throw them to the lions, the lions
will eat anything”. So the
young man returns to the ape house
and throws the dead animals into the
lions cage.
Returning
again for instructions, he is told to go along and help clean
up the
insect house. Busy cleaning out one off the exotic hives, he
notices
that all the bees have died.
“I know what to do”, he thinks to
himself “I’ll throw them all to
the lions, as the lions will eat
anything”, whereupon he brushes them
all up and throws them into the
lion cage. The next day, the zoo obtains
a new lioness. The lioness is
walking around the new cage for the first
time, and starts asking
the other lions what things are like here.
“Hows the
accommodation?”, she asks. “Fine” comes the reply from one
lion. “And whats the
food like?” she asks.
“Not bad” replies another, “yesterday, we had
fish, chimps and mushy
bees”.
(2 votes, average: 1 out of 5) Loading ...Two
college basketball players were taking an important
final exam. If they
failed, they would be on academic probation and
not allowed to play in
the big game the following week. The exam was
fill-in-the-blank.
The last question read, “Old MacDonald had a
________.”
Bubba was stumped. He had no idea what to answer. But
he knew he needed
to get this one right to be sure he
passed.
Making sure the professor wasn’t watching, he tapped Tiny on the
shoulder. “Pssst. Tiny. What’s the answer to the last
question?”
Tiny laughed. He looked around to make sure the professor hadn’t
noticed then he turned to Bubba. “Bubba, you’re so stupid. Everyone
knows
Old MacDonald had a FARM.”
“Oh yeah,” said Bubba. “I
remember now.”
He picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to write
the answer in the
blank. He stopped. Tapping Tiny’s should
er again, he whispered, “Tiny,
how do you spell farm?”
“You
are really dumb, Bubba. That’s so easy. Farm is spelled
E-I-E-I-O.”
(4 votes, average: 2.25 out of 5) Loading ...Person 1: It must be terrible for an
opera singer to
realize that he can never sing again.
Person 2: Yes, but it’s much more
terrible if he doesn’t realize
it.