Funny Joke Corner

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An 82 year old man marries an 18 year old woman, she becomes pregnant. The 82 year old man goes to the Dr. to see what the DR had to say about the wife being pregnant. The DR. said let me tell you a story about this 82 year old man I know, This man went hunting every hunting season his whole life, never missed an event. One year he got ready to go hunting and grabbed an umbrella instead of his gun. He got to the beaver pond and saw a bever pulled up the umbrella and said pow pow and the beaver fell over dead. The Dr. asked the 82 year old patient what he thought happened to the beaver and the patient said I think someone else shot the beaver.

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1. Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days. 2. If you don’t want to dress like Victoria’s Secret, girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys. 3. If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad orangry, we meant the other way.4. It is in neither your best interest or ours to make us take those stupid Cosmo quizzes together. 5. Let us ogle. If we don’t look at other women how can we know how pretty you are? 6. Don’t rub the lamp if you don’t want the genie to come out. 7. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both.8. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.9. Christopher Columbus didn’t need directions and neither do we. 10. Women who wear Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.11. When we’re turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off ramp, you saying “This is our exit” is not necessary.12. Don’t fake it. We’d rather be ineffective than deceived.

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What’s the difference between a penis and a prick?A penis gives hours of fun, and a prick owns the penis.

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Q: What’s the difference between a dog barking on the front porch and a woman hollering on the back porch?A: If you let them both inside, the dog will stop barking.

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