Thousands of jokes to browse through, comment, and rate!
(1 votes, average: 5 out of 5)
Loading ...You know how they use to give immigrants a test when they came to America? Well the last question on the test was to use pink, green and yellow in a sentence. So when the Mexican had his turn he answered the last question: “When the phone goes ‘GREEN GREEN GREEN’ I PINK it up and say ‘YELLOW?’”
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...BIT - A word used to describe computers, as in “Our daughter’s computer cost quite a bit.”BOOT - What your friends give you because you spend too much time bragging about your computer skill. BUG - What your eyes do after you stare at the tiny green computer screen for more than 15 minutes. Also: What computer magazine companies do to you after they get you on their mailing list.CHIPS - The fattening, non-nutritional food computer users eat to avoid having to leave their keyboards for meals.COPY - What you have to do during school tests because you spend too much time playing games on your computer and not enough time studying. CURSOR - What you turn into when you can’t get your computer to perform, as in “You %@& computer!”DISK - What goes out of your back after bending over a computer keyboard for seven hours at a clip.DUMP - The place all your former hobbies wind up soon after you install games on your computer.ERROR - What you made when you first walked into a computer showroom “just to look.” EXPANSION UNIT - The new room you have to build on to your home to house your computer and all its peripherals.FILE - What a secretary can now do to her nails six and a half hours a day, now that the computer does her day’s work in 30 minutes.FLOPPY - The condition of a constant computer user’s stomach due to lack of exercise and a steady diet of junk food (see “CHIPS”).HARDWARE - Tools, such as lawnmowers, rakes and other heavy equipment you haven’t laid a finger on since getting your computer.IBM - The kind of missile your family members and friends would like to drop on your computer so you’ll pay attention to them again. MENU - What you’ll never see again after buying a computer because you’ll be too poor to eat in a restaurant.PROGRAMS - Those things you used to look at on your television before you hooked your computer up.RETURN - What lots of people do to their computers after they receive their first billing from their internet service provider.TAB - What your friends pick up when they meet you for lunch because you spent all your money on new software.TERMINAL - A place where you can find buses, trains and really good deals on hot computers.WINDOW - What you heave the computer out of after you accidentally erase a program that took you three days to set up.
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. Now they’re in heaven, and God is sitting on the great golden throne. God addresses Al first. “Al, what do you believe in?” Al replies, “Well, I believe that the internal combustion Engine is the root of all evil and that we need to save the world from CFCs and that if any more freon is used, the whole earth will become a greenhouse and we’ll all die.” God thinks for a second and says, “Okay, I can live with that. Come and sit at my left.” God then addresses Bill Clinton. “Bill, what do you believe in?” Bill Clinton replies, “Well, I believe in power to the people. I think people should be able to make their own choices about things, and that no one should ever be able to tell someone else what to do. I also believe in feeling people’s pain, but not inhaling.” God thinks for a second and says, “Okay, that sounds good. Come and sit at my right.” God then addresses Bill Gates. “Bill Gates, what do you believe in?” Bill Gates said, “I believe you’re in my chair.”
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...486: The average IQ needed to understand a PC.State-of-the-art: Any computer you can’t afford. Obsolete: Any computer you own. Microsecond: The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete. G3: Apple’s new Macs that make you say ‘Gee, three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a Microsecond ago.’ Syntax Error: Walking into a computer store and saying, “Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object.” Hard Drive: The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, esp. after a Syntax Error. GUI: What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it. (pronounced ‘gooey’) Keyboard: The standard way to generate computer errors. Mouse: An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate. Floppy: The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer. Portable Computer: A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips. Disk Crash: A typical computer response to any critical deadline. Power User: Anyone who can format a disk from DOS. System Update: A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.